Hopeless
OK, look, I'm hopeless. This is me holding my hands up high, shrugging a giant shrug and admitting it: I am a lost cause.
I'm supposed to be working from home today. I had made a giant plan of all the things I was going to do this week, and all the things I was going to do today, and this week was going to be different from last week, which was spent intermittently staring into space and then typing away furiously and being ever-so productive in areas that, viewed objectively and all that and related back to My Life Plan and what have you, are not really very productive at all...
...but my body aches from all that weeding yesterday, and my head is fuzzy, and I think I have CJD again (I mean that I think it again, not that I have it again, because as far as I know I've never had it, apart from the fact that I'm constantly thinking I have it, even though I don't like beef much and rarely eat it, except in things that have Sneaky Beef in, like sausages and burgers, but I don't like burgers much either, but I do quite like sausages, but I mostly eat pork ones, but let's not forget mince), and I've forgotten what I was saying. Several things at once, I think.
Oh yes. ClareSudberyitis. I got an email from a friend who claimed to have contracted this condition, of which the main symptom is rampant procrastination.
Because, you see, I'm ever so good at making lists and plans and neat little timetables that tell me exactly what to do when, and I will spend a lot of time constructing them and then an awful lot more time ignoring them.
I have a friend who has a child who is similarly afflicted. Well, I don't know about the execution part, she might be good at that bit, but she likes to make charts and plans, just as I did when I was her age. She also likes - as do I - to Be Prepared. And this means having A Suitable Bag with many pockets, all stuffed to the brim with Things You Might Need. You should have seen her eyes when I emptied out my handbag the other week, for her entertainment. On stalks, they were. I went through each and every pocket and showed her all my Useful Things, and to the background of Stunned Sniggers from everyone else, she took it all faithfully in, and apparently she too now has a Big Handbag with Lots Of Stuff In, and is looking forward to showing me when she next sees me. And I am looking forward to it too. I will clap enthusiastically and consign her to a lifetime of Lopsided Shoulders and Bad Back.
Anyway, that was another aside. The real point of this post...
But oh dear, it's getting a bit long now. Maybe I'll start another one. Hang on.
___
So, instead of
I'm supposed to be working from home today. I had made a giant plan of all the things I was going to do this week, and all the things I was going to do today, and this week was going to be different from last week, which was spent intermittently staring into space and then typing away furiously and being ever-so productive in areas that, viewed objectively and all that and related back to My Life Plan and what have you, are not really very productive at all...
...but my body aches from all that weeding yesterday, and my head is fuzzy, and I think I have CJD again (I mean that I think it again, not that I have it again, because as far as I know I've never had it, apart from the fact that I'm constantly thinking I have it, even though I don't like beef much and rarely eat it, except in things that have Sneaky Beef in, like sausages and burgers, but I don't like burgers much either, but I do quite like sausages, but I mostly eat pork ones, but let's not forget mince), and I've forgotten what I was saying. Several things at once, I think.
Oh yes. ClareSudberyitis. I got an email from a friend who claimed to have contracted this condition, of which the main symptom is rampant procrastination.
Because, you see, I'm ever so good at making lists and plans and neat little timetables that tell me exactly what to do when, and I will spend a lot of time constructing them and then an awful lot more time ignoring them.
I have a friend who has a child who is similarly afflicted. Well, I don't know about the execution part, she might be good at that bit, but she likes to make charts and plans, just as I did when I was her age. She also likes - as do I - to Be Prepared. And this means having A Suitable Bag with many pockets, all stuffed to the brim with Things You Might Need. You should have seen her eyes when I emptied out my handbag the other week, for her entertainment. On stalks, they were. I went through each and every pocket and showed her all my Useful Things, and to the background of Stunned Sniggers from everyone else, she took it all faithfully in, and apparently she too now has a Big Handbag with Lots Of Stuff In, and is looking forward to showing me when she next sees me. And I am looking forward to it too. I will clap enthusiastically and consign her to a lifetime of Lopsided Shoulders and Bad Back.
Anyway, that was another aside. The real point of this post...
But oh dear, it's getting a bit long now. Maybe I'll start another one. Hang on.
___
So, instead of
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