Quietude

I don't have much to say at the moment.

My head is full of stuff, but a lot of it is angsty and none of it is new. I have a full-up head.

I worry about the future, about the fact that I worry about the future, about the fact that I can't stop planning even when none of the plans can work, even when the planning itself stresses me out, even when what I should really be doing is taking it easy and trying not to worry...

But doing nothing makes me worried. Being active, planning for the future, they are the thing that make me happy, until I tip over that individual fulcrum and they just make me worry some more.

Balance is the obvious answer, but balance is one of the things I am so rubbish at I can't even remember it's good. I alway look to extremes, for problems, for solutions, for explanations. Nothing is ever grey, unless I can go to the extreme of painting everything grey.

Well, anyway. I have other stuff wot I wrote before my head got simultaneously too full and too empty all at once, so I shall post that stuff here. And when I stop worrying about stupid things I shouldn't be worrying about, I'll try my old head-dump strategies again.

Pah. I am a very silly woman.


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