Beep Beep

[beep beep]

A message! For me!

Did we mention we're going to give you a reward?

Yes, actually. You did. Still not sure what it is though, or what I've done to deserve it.

Oh, I have to ring this number? OK then.

Right, I have to choose between a number of pointless and bewildering rewards. So I select one at random: Free texts.

...

[beep beep]

A message! For me!

Did we mention we're giving you a reward?

Yes. You did.

Well we are. Very soon.

Thank you.

...

[beep beep]

A message! For me!

Would you like a reward? We thought you might give you one.

Yes. I know.

...

[beep beep]

A message! For me!

We've given you it! Your reward. Enjoy.

Very nice. Thank you. 15 free texts. Lovely.

...

OK, used them.

[beep beep]

A message! For me!

We gave you your reward, we hope you liked it.

Oh, for heaven's sake. I know.

...

[beep beep]

A message! For me!

Did you like your reward? It was ever so nice of us to give it to you, wasn't it?

Argh...

And so it goes. Every few days, beep beepity beep, never anything interesting, always O Fucking 2, we're giving you something (text 1), we'll give it very soon (text 2), we're nearly there (text 3), here it is! (text 4), we gave you a reward! (text 5), we'll give you another one soon (text 6)...

Shut up shut up shut up.

That's all I have to say. Stop bloody texting me. I'll gladly forgo the pathetic blimmin' rewards if you just stop texting me.

Thank you. Now shut up.


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