Over
I'm just back from the hospital, where they announced that my womb lining has mysteriously, rather magically, disappeared. Or reduced. Something that was 22mm is now 13mm. There's been no bleeding since the last scan, so it's all a bit intriguing.
But, whatever. No D&C, and it has officially been declared over. And I have to go back to work next week. Oh, bum.
Still, life can get back to to some vague semblancy of normality now. That's good.
___
But, whatever. No D&C, and it has officially been declared over. And I have to go back to work next week. Oh, bum.
Still, life can get back to to some vague semblancy of normality now. That's good.
___
Labels: Miscarriage
13 Comments:
I'm so pleased you didn't have to have the D&C! Going back to work, not so pleased.
Don't think you have to be all normal just because you're back at work, lady. Emotions don't work to timetable so be kind to yourself for as long as you feel you need to.
great news, although slighty mysterious. atleast it means you can move onwards and upwards.
work suck but then we all know that!
Tea Shrinks Womb Lining Shock (well that's all I can think of that could have done it). Good that your body is getting back to doing what it needs to. I'm sure your emotions will follow suit in their own time.
I think it's always best when one's body can be left alone to do its doings without medical intervention. The going back to work bit may be sucky, or it may even be helpful, anyhoo, I'm just sending good wishes your way.
Clare,
I have been reading your posts faithfully, and just wanted to say...
You are brave in the manner of a Daughter of Eve, cursed to bear the blood, the pain, and the heartbreak of childbearing.
You are blessed in the manner of a Daughter of Eve as well, in that your body will renew it's ability to sponsor life each month in the repetitive miraculous cycle.
May your blessings outweigh your curses in the years ahead!
{hmmm... that all sounded a bit more hokey on paper than it did in my head - Anyway... all the best!!}
Good to hear. Have a great weekend.
Dear Boob
I don't know if you noticed, but you won Post of The Week last week.
I remember you were sad when your last nomination didn't make it through - thought this news might please you in some way, though it's poignant and sad that your winning post was not on a happier subject.
Love Dandelion
Clare - I just popped in to catch up having not visited for a while. Your posts are very moving and honest and have made me cry.
I wish you all the best
x
brevity is not always my forte, so please forgive me if i ramble.
i just discovered your blog today and i read all your miscarriage posts. thanks for posting them.
i had two miscarriages in a row last year. and they each played out differently. and my body has not been the same since.
every woman has a different relationship with her body and the fetus, etc and so i think everyone who miscarries feels it in her own way. i found very familiar your rationalizing, emotionalizing, and the obnoxious realization that miscarriage is not just a one hour purge but can last for weeks. it cracked me up that you posted about 6 Feet Under. the night we found out i was miscarrying the first time, we were watching an episode from season one that opens with a 3 week old baby's cribdeath. didn't effect me. i broke down at the end of the episode when Rico's wife delivered their baby. that a baby died in the show didn't upset me, that a woman was experiencing what i had just been told i wouldn't, killed me! ...and you're so right: fucking pregnancies and baby shit suddenly is EVERYWHERE and i, for one, just wanted to slap pregnant movie star tabloids to the ground for months! why the fuck can britney spears get knocked up and carry to term and i can't?!
for my first, i opted for a D&C, because i was starting a new job and didn't want to have to deal with bloody trauma in a new place. it's interesting that you say it carries so many risks. in the US anyway, the risks are explained, but they don't seem too scary per se. for the second, my body took care of it by reabsorbing it. (fun, huh?) i don't know which upset me more. i feel like after i cried with the second one, i just became angry. especially since i exhibited no symptoms with the first pregnancy and at least i got sick once with the second. i've been pregnant twice and except for a night of vomit, i don't know what pregnant feels like.
i envy you in England. even though you may grouse about the British "stiff upper lip" getting in the way (my poor paraphrase), at least you have a health and social system that's more supportive of mothers and families than we have here in America. in the US, when you crank out a kid, you get 3 months of UNPAID leave to tend to the child - IF you're lucky. from what i understand of GB, you guys get a year, or close to it. rumor here is that you also get it as paid leave. not only that, i remember watching a show about the English midwife system. i was amazed at how well they take care of you. here, if you want the midwife system, you have to look long and hard for a clinic that provides it. and the follow up is probably not as thorough. ... on top of all that, hiring laws vary state to state. while it's generally considered bad form to not hire someone because she is preggers and in most cases it's illegal, there are some states which have no protections against denying employment to someone because she is a mother. only half the states have laws on the books prohibiting an employer from asking whether an applicant is married or has children.
i never blogged about my miscarriages. for various reasons. some of them because, as you can read above, the environment in the States isn't really that supportive of families, for all the hot, fetid air that interest groups and politicians blow about caring for children. ... and i'm on the entry ramp into a career that is very time consuming and demanding. there are fewer of my peers who are parents in this business than in any other industry i've worked. and even though i use a nom de plume to blog under, i guess i want to abate the risk of people knowing we're trying and that hurting my career.
anyway, i warned you. sorry to ramble. i guess all the blogging on my miscarriages i wanted to do, i unleashed on you. forgive me.
please know that the suckiness does end. you'll move through it at your own pace and don't be afraid to mourn it or laugh at it or whatever. thanks for posting all that you have!
Brill! I'm glad that you've dodged the D&C. Shame you have to go back towork so quickly though.
Thanks all, I'll certainly be taking it easy when I feel the need, but for the last few days I've been fired up with an energy I'm making the most of, despite some lingering cramps. Still, I will look after myself - I promise.
I'm not sure I stand up to comparison with Eve, but I do appreciate all the sentiments and don't think you should worry how you express yourself. Sometimes the words dictate themselves.
I certainly did know I won POTW, and was very chuffed about it!
I don't know if I should apologise for making people cry! I hope it was the kind of crying you can sort-of enjoy, or at least appreciate.
As for long comments... I love them. Never apologise for a long comment. The situation in the UK is that you get six weeks leave on 90% of your normal salary, then nine months (I think) on statutory maternity pay, which is pretty low, but better than nothing. I think your employer has to keep your job open for two years. Things are even better in such countries as Sweden, compared to whom UK provision looks pretty rubbish.
Thankyou for sharing your story, Molly. It means a lot that you felt you could, and it's a shame you couldn't blog it. I know the feeling of not wanting your employers to know you're trying for a baby, and I too work in a male-dominated profession with few fellow mothers. Silly, isn't it?
Dandelion, for some weird reason your comments don't come through on my email account, so I often don't see them until days later! Very odd.
Keep well, be kind and gentle to yourself, people understand Clare, and those you work for are also people... x
It is so nice to have another post. I definitely enjoyed the crying, particularly after the POTW of course but at other times as well. Otherwise I would have stopped reading.
I agree with Ariel, and I hope the people you work with are indeed understanding. Best wishes and many more hugs.
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