Nan is a Wall

Felix's teachers are always entreating us to spend time doing reading, writing and 'rithmetic with him, which we do - albeit a little haphazardly.

For instance, when in the Easter hols Felix said he wanted to write rude messages about people, rather than deflect his interest into something more, um, suitable, me and Ally both got all enthusiastic and excited. It turned into a big family game, in a sunny pub garden one afternoon with my parents.

Felix dictated the messages, which went like this:

"Nan is a wall and she stands on a tree"

"Dad is a poo head"

"Tony's hair goes to Mars" (for those that know my dad, this is particularly funny)

"Dad likes to roll in dirt"

"Knickers"

"Mum is a wee head"

I'm not entirely sure his teachers will thank us...