I LIKE MY BREASTS
Just in case any of you have been lying awake at night worrying about me, here is a copy of an email I just sent to a concerned reader:
"Hi William,
I'm afraid you're missing the point. I LIKE my droopy boobs.
Any woman of my physique and my age who has had children, will have droopage no matter what she does. There's no avoiding it, barring cosmetic surgery. Even when I was a pert young thing, my tits were always capable of holding pencils. It's just the way they are.
Seriously though: Consider the swell and the curve of a full boob that doesn't shoot straight out from the chest in a quest to stab any passers-by in the eye. Is a pendulous breast not a wondrous thing?
It's normal, it's sexy, and there is NO NEED for any of us to jump through hoops and waste valuable time and money trying to correct something which shouldn't be a problem in the first place.
Thanks for spending the time on emailing me your considered advice. But as you see, it wasn't actually necessary...
Cheers,
Clare."
___
"Hi William,
I'm afraid you're missing the point. I LIKE my droopy boobs.
Any woman of my physique and my age who has had children, will have droopage no matter what she does. There's no avoiding it, barring cosmetic surgery. Even when I was a pert young thing, my tits were always capable of holding pencils. It's just the way they are.
Seriously though: Consider the swell and the curve of a full boob that doesn't shoot straight out from the chest in a quest to stab any passers-by in the eye. Is a pendulous breast not a wondrous thing?
It's normal, it's sexy, and there is NO NEED for any of us to jump through hoops and waste valuable time and money trying to correct something which shouldn't be a problem in the first place.
Thanks for spending the time on emailing me your considered advice. But as you see, it wasn't actually necessary...
Cheers,
Clare."
___
Labels: Disaster Prone, Flesh
14 Comments:
Good on ya!
And here's to little uns too, that couldn't droop if they tried. No desire to change them either.
the above applies to me too. No droopage here - and not much in the way of boobs either.
But hey, they're mine and I love 'em.
Lovely, Clare! We are women, not barbie dolls (and I can't tell you how tempted I was to say wimmin then. I take it young William hasn't spotted the hairy armpits?
Forgot to close the bracket...how annoying.
Hurrah for you! Well said.
The male equivalent of course is a small willie. Well, I'm not exactly well-endowed, but if that's so important to someone then I don't want to know them - well, you know, in *that* way.
for what it's worth, I like your breasts too.
Ally, it's worth a lot. And it'd be a terrible waste if you didn't.
(look, everybody! My boyfriend got himself a blog!)
P.S. Hurrah for the rest of you and all your bits - big or small, hairy or not.
And Ms Melancholy, no, he didn't mention the armpits. But don't put ideas in his head, for heaven's sake! He'll be sending me Bic razors in the post.
My favourite bit of his mail: "I also used to have a book on massage some 20 years ago and it contained
a couple of things to firm up boobs. Probally it bit late for you though."
Pencil Storage?
See - there's a whole UTILITY dimension there that he's simply missed.
OE
Thinking of your boobs.
Absolutely. And a writer should never be without her pens.
I have been known to keep other things there, too. It's not a place people search.
I think boobs are OK. Large, small, whatever. They are what they are.
Yours, Clare, are of course magnificent and pencilliferous. And I too am glad Ally likes them. Presumably Felix did too.
And Yay for the Ally blog!
You are so funny!
Sally
Hurrah for pendulous breasts! I could fit pencil CASES under mine. Imagine being me: under 5 feet tall, a size 6, and large pendulous breasts. There must be a market for that somewhere.
Good on you Clare for not falling into the cosmetic trap.
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