Please Retain

I would like to share with you the rather delightful message printed on the back of a cardboard tag attached to a small blue cushion I got for my birthday. It's soft and plushy and has a picture of a groovy-looking female who is wiggling her fingers and toes with glee and grinning manically, as you would be if somebody threw the words "Top Chick" into the air around you. It's a very small cushion, and I'm not entirely sure what it's for - I think maybe it's a comforter. It's very cuddly.

But anyway, it's the tag I like the best. On one side it says "Groovy" and on the other side it says "Please remove all tags and detachable parts before giving this toy to a child. Please retain this information."

So, in other words, please keep this sign whose sole purpose is to tell you to remove this sign, but having removed it please keep it so that you know you must remove it, just in case having removed it you forgot that you were supposed to remove it and re-attached it at some point, which of course you might well do if you found it in a drawer with a notice telling you that you must keep it because it's so important, and you might think that, what with it being so important and all, the best thing would be to attach it to the thing it came with, to make sure you don't lose it. But - oh no! - the sign tells you to remove it, not to attach it. Phew. Good thing too, or you might have attached it. But anyway, don't lose it, whatever you do, because then you might forget that it must remain detached at all times and never be re-attached.

Have I laboured that enough now?

It is funny though. I like it. I'm keeping it. You know, just in case...